Having a son come to us and tell us he is gay has been challenging, confusing, and at times has driven me crazy.  But one thing was clear from the beginning - we needed to love Marc and make sure he was circled in the arms of our love.  We felt very strongly impressed that above all else he is  our son and we need to love him.   We have repeatedly felt things will work out.  It is in the Lord's hand.  It is our job to love.  Otherwise he will associate the withdrawal of our love with the our religion and we loose any righteous influence we might have over him.  Marc told me once, that if he did not know we loved him, he would have killed himself.  A terrifying thought.
     We made it clear that we did not agree with his lifestyle choice.  But we knew that trying to force him, threaten him, or withdrawing our love would only bring into his life more anxiety, depression and self loathing than he was already struggling with.  He did not choose to be gay.  I cannot image being a 25 year old man and struggling with a same gender attraction.
      Marc has a partner that we have chosen to love as our own.  He is a wonderful, accomplished, young man that has been a blessing to Marc.
      Marc does not hate the church.  But it is a very painful issue for him.  At one point I pointedly talked to him about how he feels about his religion.  He later told me how furious he was at me for bringing it up.  It brought back to him all of the painful, self loathing feelings he had experienced at BYU.  He asked me to never bring it up again.  If he wanted to talk about it, he would bring it up.  I have honored that.  He told us he knows that God loves him.  He prays.  He asks for blessings.  He just cannot see where he fits in.
      I am grateful to our families and friends for the love they have extended to Marc and Nate.
      Please don't use my blog as a forum for the debate on gay marriage or the issue of same gender attraction.  As my father said "Until you have walked in someones footsteps, you have no right to judge them."
      I have to two links that I feel are helpful with this issue.  The first link is by a devout Christian woman whose son was gay.  They lost their son to a drug overdose.  I could not believe that hateful posts that her link received.  The second is by Elder Rasband of the First Quorum of Seventies of the LDS Church.  We know Elder Rasband and he has been very helpful to us personally on this issue.
Elder Rasband's link is right below justbeacusehebreathes.  I retrieved it from his Facebook page.

 http://justbecausehebreathes.com
 http://bit.ly/1Jc7lzb

     Terri