Thursday morning about 12:30 AM, I was having a discussion with God.   I was in so much pain I was sure death would be better.  My bladder was screaming at me.  I was having a flare up of my inflamed bladder.  (No one knows what causes it or really how to heal it.  Relieving the pain can be difficult.)   I was discussing my faith.  Of course I wanted instant relief from the pain, but it went on. 
       I got out of bed and knelt down.  I explained to Him I had parent teacher conferences tomorrow.  I just didn't feel like my faith made any difference.  I tried to explain that when I or someone I love is in the middle of suffering, I am the champion of doubts.  Of wondering if my faith is not adequate and that is why the suffering goes on.  I told Him sometimes He is a mystery to me.  To please be patient with my struggles to have some kind of faith.  It just didn't seem to be getting me any relief.  
     It did ease somewhat and I finally went back to sleep after an hour, but woke up a lot.   I could hardly get out of bed in the morning.  I asked Brent for a blessing.  He promised me I would have the health and strength to do my parent teacher conference and teach. I went to work. (I got the gem of a husband.)   I started feeling better little by little.  By the end of the day I felt much better and had completed my conferences.  It always works that way.  
     I am a line upon line, precept upon precept person.  There is no instant miracles.  But it comes as a warm summer breeze.  I do feel that God is patient with my doubts, my growing pains and my ernest desire to have greater faith.  Elder Bednar of the Mormon Church gave a great talk about having the faith not to be healed.  I have attached it below.
     I am not healed and my never be, but the Savior does sustain me when I am having a flare.  I am really so much better than I was in January.  I do know now the pain will eventually recede and that He will ease and sustain me in my illness.  Whenever I need comfort and strength He will lead me to where I need to go to find it.  The Savior lives.

     Have a great week and may we find joy!
     Terri

https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/ces-devotionals/2013/01/that-we-might-not-shrink-d-c-19-18?lang=eng